011: Mother's Day 23

In this episode, to commemorate Mother's Day, Bruce and Kaila talk about the importance of the role of moms in a family, the impact their moms have made in their lives, and Kaila shares her purpose as a mom raising her children into adults. 

Scripture Citations

• “About this time, a man and woman from the tribe of Levi got married. The woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She saw that he was a special baby and kept him hidden for three months. But when she could no longer hide him, she got a basket made of papyrus reeds and waterproofed it with tar and pitch. She put the baby in the basket and laid it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile River.” ‭‭Exodus‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬
• ““Sir, do you remember me?” Hannah asked. “I am the very woman who stood here several years ago praying to the Lord. I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” And they worshiped the Lord there.” 1 Samuel‬ ‭1‬:‭26‬-‭28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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Music Intro/Exit: Unshackled by David Upton (listen on Spotify)

Transcript

Bruce: 0:10

Welcome to episode 11 of our Unshackled Love podcast. I am Bruce Payne sitting here on this wonderful Mother's Day with my beautiful, gorgeous, sexy wife:

Kaila: 0:19

Kaila Payne, and for those of you who are just joining us, Bruce and I are two teachers who live in the greater Austin area and we have the privilege of parenting nine Wonderful, but also very crazy children.

Bruce: 0:31

I love when you sit there and say the number nine, like, I sit here right now, and so often we have people ask, you really have nine kids? And since I've been asked that so many times over the last five, six years, my quick go-to is like, yeah, it's the number after eight, duh nine, or the number before 10 is nine, duh. And people are like, huh? But yeah, we have nine kids that we absolutely love. And as we sit here on this Mother's Day, I wanted to sit here and highlight the mothers that are important in my life. And right now as we sit here and do this podcast, what better mom to celebrate than my wife, Kaila or my own mom, or even my mother-in-law? And so as we sit here today, we're gonna go through and talk about different moms in the Bible. Just their attributes, their wisdom and what they were willing to do for their own kids in order to protect them, prepare for them, and plan for them as they got older. Should be highlighted just like the works of my wife and my mom, and even my mother-in-law should be highlighted at this point in time as well. So the first story that we're gonna start with is back in the book of Exodus.

Kaila: 1:31

Yeah. We're gonna talk about the mother of Moses, which in case you're wondering, her name is Jochebed. It doesn't say that in Exodus. It actually says it later in numbers. But Jochebed was a woman who knew what it meant to sacrifice for her son, and so we're gonna read Exodus, chapter two:"about this time, A man and a woman from the tribe of Levi got married. The woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She saw that he was a special baby and kept him hidden for three months, but when she could no longer hide him, she got a basket made of papyrus reeds and waterproofed it with tar and pitch. She put the baby in the basket and laid it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile River."

Bruce: 2:13

And I think my favorite is my wife sits there and tries to announce her name Jochebed, I was like, hey honey. That was like when you got me to go to bed,"Jock in the bed". Get it?. Ha ha ha ha, ha ha. Yes, I know. Kind of inappropriate, but I don't care cuz this is the Unshackled Love podcast, and as we celebrate Mother's Day, I will gladly be a little inappropriate as I sit here and stare into your beautiful eyes in that beautiful, sexy dress you're wearing right now. Mm-hmm. And so anyways have this woman, Jochebed, who was willing to sit there and sacrifice her own life so that her kid could live. In life, as parents, there are many things that we go through, right? I mean, with our own kids that we want what's best for them. And Jochebed knowing that her son could potentially lose his life, had to come up with a plan for him in order for him to live. And if you look at us as parents, I mean, how often do we have to come up with plans for our kids, whether it's plans for the week of getting them to school or through school to athletics or from athletics, their week, making sure that everything is right for them, making sure we're providing for them their meals, making sure we're doing everything that we need. And so as I sit here and look at Jochebed, who is willing to sit there and go above and beyond for her kid, including willing to risk her life by keeping him alive. I can't help but look at my mom and my wife right now. As we said, we have nine kids. Yes, the number after eight, and trying to get one or two kids ready for school and to prepare for them and to sacrifice with them and do what's best for them is hard enough. But doing it for nine is a completely different story. On top of doing it for nine, when you're doing it for five, who are all a year apart, and you're doing it for four, who are your stepkids? It takes a special lady to be able to sit there and handle it and do it, and more importantly, show God's love through it. And over the course of the last, I don't even know, 10 plus years that we've been together, I've been blessed with watching my wife sit here and raise our kids. To be godly kids sacrificing for our kids so that they could have better, whether it's giving up the master bedroom so our girls could have more room, whether it's getting up earlier in the morning to make sure our kids are fed, whether it's staying up late doing projects because kids need help with it. My wife has been selfless. Through raising these nine kids, and as I sit here and reflect, you know, it's one of those things to sit here as a parent and be thankful for your spouse, but as we sit here and reflect as our son's about to graduate high school in two weeks, I mean, it hasn't always been pretty with him. It hasn't always been fun. It hasn't always been great, but through this, all my wife has been loving, kind, and caring towards him and with me as we've parented him. At the other end of the spectrum, we have our two little ones who are not twins, who are both getting promoted from kindergarten the sacrifices that she's made for them has been equally awesome as well. And so I'm gonna ask you right now, And this is unprompted. There's no script right now, and this is my favorite part. For those of you who watch any kind of movies, what is that? God's Not Dead movie, which she's like, yes, I love unscripted interviews. I'm gonna unscript this right now. I'm gonna give you an unscripted question. What drives you as a parent when you choose to be selfless for your kids or when you choose to put plans into action? Like what's your driving force behind you of your willingness to be able to, your willingness to sacrifice?

Kaila: 5:26

I think that it all comes down to wanting better for my kids than either what I had or even like what I did. Um,

Bruce: 5:40

I win cause I got my wife to be teary-eyed and to cry on this. Today we were at church and Lisa Bevere was sitting there talking and she talked and said, Hey, it's one thing if you come after me as a human being, it's another if you come after my kids. But she also talked about as a parent, you want better for your kids than you had for yourselves. And that goes back to my own mom right with me. My mom was raised in a rough household with a dad who had some anger issues. She got married to my dad and they were unequally yoked when my mom became a believer, when I was a young kid. And throughout time my mom wanted better for my sisters and I. So much so that she preached the word of God to us on a daily basis. Cause my mom wanted better and I am forever grateful for that. As we sat here and I picked the Mother's Day card out for my mom, I didn't even know what to sit there and read, cause there's a million cards in some cornine, cute and whatever else is going on. The same for my wife. And as I went through it and opened card after a card, after card and as my wife made fun of me, she's like, you actually bought a card this year. I am so cheap. I do not buy cards. Uh, number two, I'm like, you're gonna throw'em away anyway, so why should I buy'em? Even though, even when I'm given a card, I keep it, I have my grandma's cards forever just cuz my grandma's cute and she has handwriting that is just, It's in my heart and so I keep her cards. But other than that, it's like you paid$6.75 for a card that you're gonna toss on the trash. So anyways, I'm going through these cards and for my mom, the one thing that has been persistent with her and consistent since I was a kid is faith in showing me Jesus' love. And so I went through every card until I found a one that talked about having faith. I didn't even care what the rest of the card was. I circled the word faith and wrote a paragraph based on that in itself. Same with my wife's card. I went there and picked a card out that had to, it had to have an award that talked about her and all she's done and then being sexy. I was like, awesome. That's the award I'm giving my wife and as I sit there and look at it the faith is the one thing that we can go back to with my childhood and what my mom made sure and planned for making sure I have cuz she wanted a better life for me and she knew that if I had Jesus in my life, my life would be better off. Just like with Moses getting put in a basket, his mom knew that he'd be better off.

Kaila: 7:43

And I think for me, growing up, my mom and I, we have a good relationship now, and I can objectively look back and I know that she did her best with the way that she was raised and the circumstances that we lived and our lives and getting a divorce. But, you know, there was no religion in our home. There was no faith. There was no God. And I was very much raised with the idea of:"life will just work itself out". And being young is meant for making mistakes and doing dumb stuff, and it'll all work itself out in the end and you'll mature and you'll get your life together. So there was almost kind of like this idea, I guess for me as a teenager, like, oh, well this is what I'm supposed to be doing. So every bad choice or every party, or every time I would go out with people I shouldn't be hanging out with in my heart, I knew that I shouldn't be doing those things, but it was almost like I was conditioned this is what this time is for and this is what you're supposed to be doing. And I was never raised having any sort of bigger purpose and knowing my purpose and or knowing my gifts and how my gifts were gonna impact the world. And so with our kids, It's amazing to me to see all nine of them, and I think that the biggest thing for me is like just seeing how each of them has a different gift, how God has equipped them, and then I'm so excited to see how God is going to use them, but I don't want them to believe that lie that they have to get things wrong or make bad choices. In fact, having self-control and withstanding temptation from worldly desires is what makes us stronger in our faith and in our walk. And it's when we experience Jesus in our lives. And so I think for me, just like your mom, and this is something that your mom and I both have in common, is that we became believers in our early twenties. So later on, not later, but I mean, you know, not as kids. We weren't raised. So for us, our faith is not only very real and very personal, but it is a strong conviction to raise our children, knowing the Lord and knowing that the Lord is real and walks with you and is there for you. And teaching the ways of the Bible because we know that:" I am the way, the truth and the life". So the word brings truth and then following the truth brings life. And so I don't want my kids to know any different, and actually I want them to know that God's way is opposite of the world's way. And to be aware of that because I want blessings not only to manifest in their lives, but we know that those blessings transcend generations. So I'm breaking generational sin for my family line and sewing generational blessings for my grandchildren. And my great-grandchildren and my great-great-grandchildren that I may never even meet, but I'm being intentional about sewing those seeds now.

Bruce: 11:01

Oh, absolutely. And I think it goes back to how we live our life I mean, it's one thing to sit there and say, Hey, I believe in Christ or God, same person, but I believe in Christ. It's another to sit there and live out a life filled with Jesus Christ. Right? And then that goes back to our actions. And I think for so long in our own lives, you're just talking about how your relationship with God is personal. And I think when we first got married, we sat there and talked about when I get remarried, I want my wife to have one through five and number one was love Jesus. And she's like, I'll go love Jesus right now. Cause I was that good looking that she wanted to be with me. Nah, she was that crazy that she's like, I want four kids right off the bat. Nah. And, and she did. And she's jumped in and, and it hasn't been easy cuz there's a lot of things that she's tackled in her own life and made right with her and her family or with her and just herself in the convictions that she's had in her own life to change her life. But even with me, you know, both of us, as we've gotten older now, is when she say she's in her twenties, she's in her thirties now, not just a year after thirties. She's in her thirties now and now I'm older than that a little bit. And we sit here and I always say a little bit because I always telling my kids we're always the same age, and they laugh laughed. They're like, ha ha ha. Yeah, right. You're older than mommy. But no, as as we've gotten older, the convictions even gotten more reals. Our kids have gotten older cuz they're able to ask. Real life questions and those real life questions have convicted me as a man even more. And even my wife, so much so to the point where we don't have alcohol in our, our our house because of the fact that, you know, we're, we're the, I don't even know, probably the third, fourth generation in my family of alcoholics, right? I mean, everybody before me drank and drank a lot. And not one or two beers, but six pack, 12 pack, hard liquor, whatever it might be. And as we have kids who are getting to that age, it's like, man, it has to stop sometime. I'm not saying it's gonna stop because I quit drinking, but I at least wanna be able to sit there and show them that you can change. Because I love to party and I love to drink, but guess what? I wanna show my kids and my wife wants to show our kids, together we're wanna show our kids that we can change, that we can be different than the generations before us making their lives better than ours. And it's an awesome thing to see as she said, like with my mom, planting those seeds and me when I was a young kid, and then my wife, planting those seeds in our kids right now, I'm forever grateful. And it kinda leads us into the next verse. And since, I mean, you sound very prophetic today, and like a theologian I'm gonna give you a chance to read the next verse that we'll tie things into.

Kaila: 13:15

All right, so the next verse is coming from First Samuel, and it's just a praise from Hannah. She said,"sir, do you remember me? Hannah asked. I'm the very woman who stood here several years ago, praying to the Lord. I asked the Lord to gimme this boy and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord and he will belong to the Lord his whole life. And they worshiped the Lord there."

Bruce: 13:39

Yeah. You have this woman who for so long wanted a kid and she was barren. She could not have a child, and she promised to the Lord like, Hey, you wanna know what you gimme a kid. I'm gonna give them to you. And as human beings, I mean, there's so many things that we can give our kids to. We can give our kids to sports. We can give our kids to school. We can give our kids to the world and what the world says we should be doing, or we can ultimately end up giving our kids to the Lord and show them what it means to live a Christ filled life. We can give'em to the Lord with our actions and our words. We can bestow what the word of God says and put it into their hearts as parents. And once again, I'm gonna go back right now as someone who's just sitting here and reflecting I'm getting a little older. I mean, I found myself reflecting more and more and as I'm sitting here across my wife, I am forever grateful that you sit here. And she gonna make me cry now. Cause I'm so thankful of the woman that you are for our kids, for all nine. The fact that you are willing to sit there and teach them the word of God. The fact that when we wake up in the morning, you know, for some people they sit there and they have family dinners. Well, our schedule of nine kids doesn't allowed for family dinners. So we wake up every day early and we have a full meal as if you were to think it was Easter brunch every single day of the week, that's our house because that's the one time that we sit there together and have a chance to sit there and talk about the word of God. We get to talk about how our days are gonna be and whatever else it might be. And I know it's early and it's before school cause my wife and I are both teachers. But that's what we chose to do this year and we've done it for a calendar year. Where we've gotten up and we've done it and during that time on a daily basis, the most awesome part has been reading the word of God to our kids. And recently my wife went above and beyond and said, Hey, you wanna know it's not just good enough to sit there and read the word of God, even though that was our goal back in August, on August 17th, when the school year started, we said, we're gonna read the word of God. She came back and said, Hey, you want to know what I'm gonna give these kids to God even that much more. I'm gonna give'em to God by instilling the word of God into their hearts. And she pulled out this book and said, Hey, we're gonna go through and we're gonna memorize these verses every week. So even though we are doing the verse of the day and talking about the verse of the day and praying about the verse of the day, she came back and got this book at and said, well, we're gonna actually remember God's treasure one verse at a time every week. And the first verse I can't even tell you, but it was something 1:1. And then

Kaila: 16:02

Genesis 1:1

Bruce: 16:03

and then the next week it was John 1:1 I was like, wait a second. These all have one ones. But guess what?

Kaila: 16:09

He obviously hasn't memorized them

Bruce: 16:10

John 1:1 I have not, but I'm gonna tell you this with our kids every day, for them to hop up in the morning, the first thing half eyed, you know, hair hairs not even brushed yet, teeth aren't brushed, one sock on, two shoes on, whatever it might be. No underwear cause our boys halfway wear underwear, halfway don't. And they're at the table and they're like, I know what the Bible verse is. I remembered it and it's because my beautiful wife has chosen to go above and beyond giving the kids back to God. And I sit here right now when I was a kid, my mom did the same thing. And so, mom, thank you for that. Thank you for sitting Lindsay and Kellie and I down at the table and making sure at 7:00 AM when we sat down for breakfast that you made us memorize the word of God, and as we got older word does not return void. And so just going back to my wife right now, thank you for what you do for our kids.

Kaila: 17:00

I think it's so important to not take this out of context when it says like, give it back to the Lord. I am not gonna take my child and go drop'em off at a church and say, here you go. Go parent my child. And I feel like in today's a society, there are a lot of people out there that think that just taking your kids to church is good enough. And friends, I am here to tell you that it is not good enough because a church service that lasts an hour and a half on Sundays is not going to, I mean, it may change your child's life because we know plenty of stories and conversion stories and kids who yes, they made good connections, but if they're hearing one thing on Sunday and then they're seeing a different thing being lived out Monday through Saturday, they're getting a mixed message. And so it's important don't rely on the church to teach your kids good moral values and then you are not living out those values yourself. It's something that you must be leading by example, and taking your kids to church is just one facet. I know for us, we talk to our teenagers about the importance of them going to church because they need to be plugged in and they need to start building their village, and they need to have their community of other people who are like believers. And so it's not so much that you're going to church to get fed because we know that church is just supposed to be like the dessert. It's not your main meal. It's not what you're getting filled up. It's not how we're really growing spiritually. It's a place that you need to be involved in small groups, you need to be involved in serving. Jump into a Bible study. You need to deepen your faith. And that doesn't just happen by showing up to service on Sundays. In fact, how many times do you sit and talk to your neighbor at church on Sundays? Most of the time you just sit in the room and you listen to the pastor and then you leave and maybe wave at a couple people on the way in or the way out. But that's not where you're, that's not how you're growing spiritually. And so for your kids, don't expect the church to raise your kids for you and that they're gonna be walking the walk if you are not walking it yourself. And so it just comes back to being that example and being intentional in your parenting about making sure that you are the one showing them what it looks like to love Jesus.

Bruce: 19:25

Amen. And I'm just gonna finish it up with this. I think she on the head. You have to be intentional as a parent. If we don't raise our kids, the world will. And right now we know this world's a crazy place. and as these mothers in the Bible, you know, Jochebed had a plan. As parents, we need to come up with a plan, with how we are gonna raise our kids. And ultimately, if we sit there and the plans that we make have a chance at saving their lives, just like Jocked did. And as we go forward with Hannah she was intentional, making sure that her kid was gonna be raised with the Lord. As parents, it's up to us to choose whether or not we wanna be intentional. And as my wife just said, it is important to sit there and get plugged in, in more than one faucet of your life. It's not a change that happens overnight necessarily. I know there's some people who that transformation happens and it might seem like it's overnight, but for a lot of peoples, it takes years. And so start somewhere, and I know it might seem overwhelming, but maybe it's going to church, maybe it's talking to a pastor on staff. Maybe it's reaching out to us at Growing Paynes whatever it might be. Maybe it's talking to somebody at your work that you know as a believer, but make the time, the effort to sit there to be intentional, cuz it's not gonna just change your life or impact your life, but more importantly, it's gonna impact your kids as well and the generations to come if you're willing to sit there and step out in faith.

Kaila: 20:34

And actually, I know he said we're gonna wrap it up, but because he touched on this, we have five children together, but I married him with four beautiful children. And to anyone out there who is in a parenting role, just because you did not birth your children does not make you any less of a parent. And so when I am speaking through the microphone to someone listening on the other end of this, your impact matters and what you do matters. And I parent my older four the same way I parent the younger five. Because to me I want the same thing for them. I want them to grow into that prosperity. I want blessings for them, just the same as I do my younger ones. And I can't help but think of another mom in the Bible. And this is kind of impromptu, we didn't talk about this beforehand, but Naomi and Ruth, Naomi was a mother-in-law who in her eyes didn't have anything to offer. Was gonna go and leave her daughter-in-law's behind and said, go back to your families cuz I have nothing to give you. And yet Ruth clung to her and wouldn't leave her. Because she saw her faith. She saw a woman of God, she knew and she loved her, and she valued the role model that that woman had been in her life. And ultimately it was Ruth that turned to God because of Naomi's example. And so whatever role you're in, whether it's as a stepmom or an aunt, or even a grandmother who's now raising your grandbabies, you have an impact that you can change the life of that young person, whoever they are in whatever your relationship. What you do matters.

Bruce: 22:23

It does. And so, honey, as we sit here and finish out, would you be willing to pray for us since it's Mother's Day and I love A it's Mother's Day, but B, I love listening to her pray. That's why I often have her pray at the end cuz this is so beautiful to me.

Kaila: 22:37

Absolutely. Dear Father God, thank you for every woman who you have placed on your walk. I pray for every woman that you called daughter, that you have crowned us with righteousness. And you have given us a purpose. You've created us uniquely. We are the Wo-Mans to men, and you have gifted us in such a way that you use us for your purpose to impact the next generation through love and nurturing, but also correcting and by example. I pray for strength in the hearts of every woman listening to this because you know the heartaches we face as a mom whose heart breaks over her children and the heartaches that come along with this world and the trials of life. But I just pray that we can be the ones to sit there and guide our children to seeing your love and your truth, and that your way is the best way. It's the only way. And when we lean into you, our weakness is made strong. Thank you, father God for loving us and for calling us yours. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Bruce: 23:51

Amen.