Unshackled Love: Parenting in Faith
Unshackled Love: Parenting in Faith
010: Q&A w/ the Paynes
In this episode, Bruce and Kaila answer some of their most frequently asked questions by others and give a little bit of insight into their lives as parents of nine and how they have had to adapt to meet the needs of their family.
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[01:45] What kind of car do you drive?
[04:09] Did you always want a lot of kids?
[07:59] When do you get "you" time?
[12:34] How do you do vacation?
[18:38] How do you cook/grocery shop?
[24:17] How do you manage everyone's schedules?
[29:06] Matthew 6 and closing prayer
Scripture Reference:
“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:32-34
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Music Intro/Exit: Unshackled by David Upton (listen on Spotify)
Welcome to episode 10 of our Unshackled Love podcast. I am Bruce Payne sitting here with my gorgeous, beautiful, 10 of a wife.
Kaila:Kaila Payne, and for those of you who are just joining us, Bruce and I are two teachers in the greater Austin area and we also have the privilege of parenting nine children. So we are teachers by day parents to nine by night, and then on the side, you know, in our quote unquote free time, we're in the process of launching our ministry, growing Paints ministry, and doing this podcast. So thank you for joining us.
Bruce:I like how you say that we have free time. I don't even know what free time is right now. A. B. When we try to sleep, I don't even know what sleep is right now either. So it's just kind of a, a normal season right now as our kids are kicking back off the spring season with sports, High school soccer's going on. We're like fourth round deep in the playoffs where our daughter. Not to mention our son's about to graduate high school and birthdays are around the corner for some of the kids. It's just a busy, busy time.
Kaila:It is, but it's fun. I think that every time we have a break, it's funny because we always say, okay, I enjoyed my break. Now I'm ready to get back to normal.
Bruce:Absolutely. You wanna, what? I actually do like our normal. I relish our normal and over the course of the years, we've had people come and ask us a variety of different questions. And so, In honor of those questions that people have taken the time to ask us. We have decided to have a podcast where we go through some of those questions that people have asked and some of these questions we've been asked weekly. I would say, you know, probably the first one, what kind of car do you drive, for instance, right? Like, I've been asked that a million different times. Anytime people hear how many kids we have. What kind of car do you drive? So let's get this started. I'm gonna ask the first question. I don't plan on asking anymore. I get to go to teacher mode tomorrow at school. I'm gonna ask you right now, what kind of car do we drive?
Kaila:Okay, well, I will say that we used to drive a 12 passenger Nissan Envy, and it was probably one of my favorite cars we've ever owned.
Bruce:What was your favorite, and I already know the answer. What was your favorite feature about that car?
Kaila:It had no carpet.
Bruce:No carpet. The whole entire car had rubber mats on the bottom, including under the mats. It was purely rubber made to be able to be hosed out if need be.
Kaila:It was perfect. It was so funny because when the salesman was trying to pitch it to us, he was telling us like all the things that were wrong with it. Like, or that I guess would deter people, like, oh, by the way, you know, it doesn't have carpet. And we're like, that's great. And he's like, and it's a base model, so it doesn't have a center console. It was like, Perfect spot for the diaper bag. Like all the things I was like, check, check, check. And it served us great for a really long time until our kids just got so busy and we got to a point where we were traveling a lot for soccer and one would go one way and one would go the other way. And we just realized, you know what? This beast of a car, which I loved. I loved my envy, but we had to part ways with it because we just weren't really together all that much. So we traded it in, and now we currently have two matching Twinsie Honda pilots.
Bruce:And I think with that, they're actually both the same year, but hers is a lot nicer than mine and mine actually has one more seat. But going back to the Nissan env, when we moved from California to Texas, we actually sold everything we had and the only stuff we brought was what we could fit inside the Nissan Env with like, Three kids in it, and then the whole entire thing filled to the roof from front to back.
Kaila:It was packed. I couldn't even see out the rear view. And I remember whenever I would break too hard, something would fall on top of the kids in the row. Those are, those are good memories. And we did, yeah, we just packed that thing up with clothes and,
Bruce:and for, and for the record, we bought it with 2000 or so miles on it, and I think we sold it at like a hundred thousand, like give or take. I'm gonna let you ask the second question.
Kaila:All right. So one of, I think the other questions that we frequently get asked is, do you come from a big family? And so that answer is actually different for both of us because I do not come from a big family at all. I have one brother and one aunt. That's it. Just an aunt, no uncles, no cousins. I come from a very small and divided family, so, family wasn't necessarily something that I always, I wanted out of a lack but I do think that it was always just knit in me. I knew from a very young age that I was going to be a mom. Like that was something God put on my heart, and so I knew I always kids, but I did not come from a big family.
Bruce:And in terms of her always wanting kids from the start of her not dating or talking, it was, I want at least three more kids. And I was like, holy mo man, I already got four. And you want three more?
Kaila:Oh, don't, don't even play this off, mister, because he was the one when he asked me how many kids I wanted and I said, well, I wanted, and my answer is actually, I said I want at least two, but if I'm being honest, three.
Bruce:And then as we all know, response was, women always get what they want. At least in my marriage. And not only did she get three, she got three plus two more that she wanted. No, I'm just kidding. The last two are probably mine. But no, we ended up with five together. To sit there and put this in perspective, when I was in high school, I knew I wanted at least four kids. Like, I was like, I want a big family. I came from, two sisters. I come from a family. In terms of cousins that are super close-knit, I'm going to the same high school elementary schools. And so for me it was like, I think there's nine of us total on my, on my mom's side, and we were close and we spent holidays together. We spent summers together. We spent vacationing together, camping together, going to the beach together, whatever it might be. We spent a ton of time. The reality is, I grew up rather poor. I mean, I don't know if we're, I mean, In today's society probably wouldn't be poor, but we didn't have a lot of money and as a result you spent a lot of time with family. So I knew I wanted a lot of kids. And then the next thing I said, my wife wanted three more on top of my four. And here we are now with nine. I don't know. When did you're a math teacher or you were once, you know once upon a time, how does three plus four ever equal nine?
Kaila:My husband. You somehow you stirred that up and made that happen because I was totally happy at seven. I was like, we're at God's number of completion and our family is complete and we are good. And then number eight came along and then I was like, okay, I can be fine with number eight because we started with four and now we're gonna. Four and it'll be like this, four plus four and we're good. And it's even, and I'm happy. And we're eight. And actually it was right after number eight that we moved to Texas. And so I was like, we're starting a new season of life moving on with our eight kids. And then number nine.
Bruce:Oh, she's my favorite though. People, my students at school always ask who's our favorite kid? It is most definitely Harvest Grace, our little number nine, the little five year old is absolutely our bundle of joy. She's full of joy. Maybe it's because she's named after my favorite church, and so she's full of Jesus' joy. I don't know, but she is absolutely rotten and beautiful at the very, very same time. I mean, I think after her, it was probably a good idea that we stopped at that point in time. I can't tell you how many years in a row we had kids in diapers. It was something like 16. I mean, going through and having nine kids was quite a bit and, and now it's normal. So to answer the question, I think I wanted the big family from the start. She's crazy. From the start putting together, we have nine kids. Next question.
Kaila:All right. So because we have so many kids, I think that another common question we get asked is, how do you find you time? Or how do you have time for yourself? So I know for me, I have a 30 minute lunch. Every day. And so when I go to work, this is what I tell people is I choose to intentionally spend my lunchtime with Jesus because that is my me time. There are plenty of, you know, there's the office lounge or maybe you're going out to lunch or you work around people and you're surrounded by people. So sometimes your lunchtime can get, taken up. That time can get taken up really quickly. And I've been guilty of it as well, you know, just making a casual trip down to the office and then all of a sudden 20 minutes have gone by and I'm like, oops, uh, okay, well lunch is over. Let me wolf down some food real quick before I go back to class. And so I think being intentional. Like, I'll have time throughout the day to socialize or talk to people and get what I need to done. So I make it a point to actually go out to my car. I'm also not a morning person. I have tried and tried to be, you know, oh, I'm gonna get up at five and read my Bible, but I'm one of those people, I need my 32 ounces of coffee before I can even function. I'm just not a morning person. So for me, I feel like getting up,having my coffee, going to work; by the time lunch rolls around, I'm actually in full swing and I feel like I give Jesus my best. And so I am very intentional about taking that time and that time is for me, and we know that spending time with Jesus is really what fuels us and fills us up and gives us that rest time. So for me, I am intentional about making sure that I get that time in.
Bruce:Yes. And, and she is very honest when she says she's not awake before noon because that is very true on the weekend. Same thing. It doesn't matter if it's a weekend or weekday, she does not fully functioning until I'm ready to go to bed. Cause I'm getting old. No, just kidding. A little bit before that. In terms of free time for me, I think you have to differentiate these two words is personal time and then me time. I mean, the reality is do we really ever get a chance to go do what we want to do? Whether it's go to the movie theaters, go to a sport and event that's not our kids, go to a concert and the answer is very rarely, but that's okay. You know, as you've been married as long as we have now and with as many kids, it's just our normal, it's not something that we even sit there and think. In terms of me time, like throughout the day. I'm very low maintenance in this area. I would have to say like I don't need a lot of me time cuz I'm ADHD to the max and I don't mind being around people and it doesn't sit there and make me super tired and nor do I really need to"rejuvinize", as my wife would say, and a previous podcast. That being said, some quiet time is good. So for me, in the morning I do get some quiet time after I get all the little minions and my wife out to the car. I do have some free time there, or if I'm dropping my other daughter off at high school sports in the morning, I'll have some free time in the car. But for me, like my solstice, if I were to sit here and be honest about it, is sitting at my kid's practice like me sitting in a lawn chair. Whether it's in a lawn chair or up in the stands, like by myself, just hanging out, not even like really paying attention and watching everything, but just hanging out at a sporting event, including practice, is huge for me. Like that. That is what makes me tick, and it's my happy spot ever since I was a little kid, being at a sporting event, whatever it might be. The the funny thing is like I'll go to the kids' practice and they'll be like, Hey dad, how'd I do in practice? I'm like, I don't even know. Cause I wasn't watching my own kid. I'm not sitting there to watch them, to babysit them. But just watching sports in general. Or maybe a dad or two will come and talk and say hi, which is awesome. But overall, just hanging out at my kids' sporting events is me time. And the fact that we have nine. Over half of'em, which play sports at this point in time. There's always an event or a venue, I can say that, six to seven days every single week.
Kaila:And just getting outside too, I think like you were saying, right, the fresh air of just being outside and then being aware of breathing in that moment and taking a moment to stop and pause and. Do want to. I feel like we live in a culture, right, where it's like we always need to have input and we always need to be doing something, or we always need to be looking at something and it's nice just to put the phone down and not have demands.
Bruce:I'm gonna throw an impromptu question in here cuz this is actually one of my favorite questions that we get too. Did not write it down, is how do you guys go on vacation? So I want, I want you to sit there and start this one first. How do you guys go on vacation?
Kaila:Okay, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna actually start this off with my husband. We have coined the term daddy style, so anytime we go on vacation, the kids are like, are we going daddy style? I'm like, we wouldn't do it any other way because my husband is so extreme and to the max. And so ADD, when we go on vacation, he's the type of person where, you don't know when you're gonna do this again. So we've gotta fit every single little thing that we can into our trip. And so it's just go, go, go a million miles an hour. And then even when we think, or I think we've had a plan and he makes me happy cuz I think I know where we're going. There's always something up his sleeve, so it's like at any point in time he could be like, oh yeah, well, I. Said we were gonna do that or well, on the way there. And so we always just joke because you never know. It's like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride when you're going on a vacation with my husband. So we've coined this term daddy style and minus, during Covid, which we'll come back to that, we can't really afford to fly everyone anywhere. So it's always being crammed in the car. Road trip style with pillows, blankets, snacks, movies, devices, whatever we can cram in there. The last trip we even threw a dog in there. We're like, just throw the dog in. Let's go. You can come with us too. But whenever we do vacations, I mean, I will say, We definitely make the most.
Bruce:Absolutely. Over spring break a couple weeks ago we were down in Florida and we sat there and actually took two cars for once, which is a novelty. You know, it's funny, our kids were like, where are we staying at? And for the first time ever, we went Airbnb a motor home and our kids, after we were there in the motor home for like three nights, our kids were like, can we buy one of these? These these are awesome. Could we live in one? I was like, you guys are crazy. I mean, it was amazing time. But for them, Like, imagine taking eight kids in a motor home or staying in a motor home that was five minutes from IMG Academy down in Florida was pretty awesome. But, that aside yeah we've flown as a family once, or mostly as a family. There's one kid missing for that. It was during Covid V and we have like a third of the plane to ourselves. Every other seat was empty and it was like our family. And each round trip ticket was like 52 bucks. And that was to what? Florida? Yeah. I think at that point in time. In terms of going on vacation on a normal, here's one thing. Due to our kids sporting events, we go to hotels quite frequently. The reality is we can't afford super nice hotels, so we figured out through different online systems how to get the best deal. But on top of that, we are even better at maximizing our space in a hotel room. Yes. I mean, she says yes and she's just laughing at me. I mean, how many people here could say that they've stayed at the Westin, the night before Thanksgiving? We've done it two years in a row now, for$97. But the best part is we sit in the Westin this last year, one hotel room, 10 of us in two what Two dogs? Yeah, I think it was two, it was like two dogs. Okay. People like, you guys are crazy. No, we just figured out the system and made it work because hey, we're both teachers. We don't make a lot of money. Even with those, say him come tax in Texas, we still don't make a ton of money and so we just make it work. So we have learned how to get the most out of our hotels and, and thank you Weston, for not kicking us out.
Kaila:Oh yeah, minus the exception of the Westin. We usually don't stay at a hotel unless they have free breakfast because that in itself with our children is worth it. And then here's the other thing too. We can't afford to eat out that many meals.
Bruce:So no, we cannot. And that's another thing too. So we sit there ahead of time, go to Costco, put in enough food in the back of one of the cars to make sure we at least have snacks, and then when we go out to vacation, Every single day because it is Daddy's style. And we're going cray-cray is, we'll go to the grocery store on a daily basis and we'll pick up bread and bologna, bread and peanut butter, bread and salami, bread and Turkey, whatever's the cheapest in the store, along with some fresh produce for our kids cause they eat pretty healthy. And we're on our way. And when she says daddy style, by the way, that means everything from 6:00 AM to 10:00 PM pretty much every single day, if not longer. It means driving from Florida down at IMG all the way home. Straight. Last summer, I think we went to 26 states in Washington, DC during the month of July. Like we, we get a lot of miles on our car and we've had a lot of fun. I think. How about this, right now we're in the first weekend of April and in, within the last four months I've driven to California and back twice as well as to Florida and back once. So there's the daddy style aspect of things.
Kaila:Yeah and that's not even to mention, we've got at least two trips coming up. You're going to North Carolina this month and then New Jersey in a couple months. And so, yeah, like he said, we travel a lot for soccer and we never want our kids to miss out on those opportunities, but you definitely have to kind of give and take and you know you're not gonna be able to do everything. And so, honestly, like the RV or the motor home in Florida, that was so much fun. And it was actually really cool because all of our kids had their own bed. And it's not something that we ever really thought of]before that had come across our thoughts, but then I was like, now that we've done it, I would totally do that again. The kids loved it. It was so much fun. And there actually was like a little kitchenette. So we were able to make, Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls, but we were still able to, you know, like we didn't go all out because again, and then also because of the nature of daddy style, there's no just hanging out. Like there's no hanging out at the hotel room, there's no hanging out at the rv, there's no hanging out. You're going to the beach, you're going and checking this out. You're going to a park, you're going in exploring. And I love that. I mean, we definitely do make a lot of experiences for our kids, and so they're gonna remember those memories a lot more than where we went out to dinner.
Bruce:Here we go. Next question. What is it?
Kaila:All right, next question. I think it's gonna be going along the lines of our crazy family. So what do meal times look like and c cooking slash grocery shopping, because I feel like those are all kind of questions that we get asked in terms of meals, food, and grocery shopping.
Bruce:let's go with grocery shopping first. We live in the, the state of Texas where I have to sit there and say I love h e b, especially our local h e b for the woo woo woo. For those of you who have never been to an h e b, you are missing out. It's better than Kroger or Ralphs even though I love my old school Ralph's from California and Kroger's up in Dallas area. I will take my heb, especially the H is HEB back, H heb Superstore. Oh, I already knew what it was, but I wanted to give her a chance to sit there and say h e b plus as harvest, grace would say h e b plus. So yes, we have an h e B plus down the street from our house. Absolutely love it. Prices are good minus the last six months to a year when my five dozen eggs went from like$6 to 22 at one point in time, and our ground beef went from$17 for 10 pounds to like 24, then to like 32 or whatever it. So other than that aside, I love our h e b You know, some family sit there and, I mean, even my wife at one point in time wanted to sit there and schedule what we had for dinner.
Kaila:Like it's called meal planning, honey. Yeah, meal. I can't even planning.
Bruce:I can't even plan when I'm wearing to work tomorrow. That's why I have five of the same shirts with the same pair of pants every day. Like I can't, I can't plan anything. And so, yes, meal planning is great when you have time to sit there and make it. And FYI, in the car today. She actually sat there and said, I don't even get to the point where I wanna make dinner at home for myself because I'm just too tired and I don't even know what to make. Okay. So there is meal planning. It's just daddy's style on meal planning. When I go to the store, I know exactly what to get in terms of how much produce, what's on sale. So I kinda look through things just a little bit. We go get the meat, the salami, we go get the other meat for dinners, and then we kind of go through, right and. There's certain staples. Another thing outta love is the h e b brand. It's not h e b brand, it's another brand that they use. Uh, hill Country Farms or whatever it is. Or nah, it's not that something else. Anyways, they have like boxes of Cheerios for a dollar 59 or a dollar 49, whatever it might be. That's kids snacks for lunches during the week. And so, you know, that's just one of their snacks. But we have figured it out in terms of what our week looks like in terms of nights out with soccer, in terms of nights, homes. So, in terms of dinner, I mean, for the average family of four, you guys might go through a pound of pasta, maybe two. For us it's at least three, per. Per meal, three pounds of pasta per meal. In terms of meat, if we wanna sit there and have a meal where every kid's getting at least their own, like, I'm laughing as I say this, but if each kid wants their own hamburger, that's, that's like five pounds of ground beef. If you're sitting there going through eggs, I'll give you an example. Our family's so busy in the evening, it's unrealistic for us to sit there and have sit down dinners. So in our family, we adopted sit down breakfast and on a given day I make anywhere from 12 to 15 to 18 to 24 eggs on a daily basis. Some days I try to hold back when they're up and they're at that$22 a box. I will sit there and skimp on it and put more bread and they'll have egg sandwiches. But right now when it's kind of going down to$12 and 22 cents a box, we're going back to the 18 to 24 eggs a day thing. So anything you wanna add?
Kaila:I think too, I know that we were talking about, meal planning and I was talking to another, woman about this and I said we have our staples. So we have the things that it's like, okay, like we know we're gonna have, and it's also things that we can make quickly. So spaghetti check or some sort of pasta because yes, my kids, some get burned out on a red sauce even though it's cheaper than white sauce. But I digress. We will do pasta we'll do bean tortillas or bean tacos because they love just beans and cheese with tortillas. Like, yes. Okay, great. Quick, easy meal. Sloppy joe's. So sloppy joe's is another way. You know, instead of making hamburgers, we might be able to get a little bit less, and our kids do actually eat a lot of veggies. I can make kale or cabbage or cauliflower, and they'll actually eat it, which is nice. So sometimes we'll have a good veggie or we'll do potatoes, like okay, so every week we get a bag of potatoes. So I think for us having our list, it also helps us free up some mental spacebecause like Bruce was saying, okay, I'm going to the grocery store and I know what I'm getting and I know what I need to get us to the rest of the week. And then maybe if we have a free Saturday night, like we'll have one special meal. But otherwise our schedule is, it's just way too busy in the afternoons and in the evenings to really plan anything out or to have time to cook anything. And it's gotten to the point where, yeah, I've pretty much had salami and cheese for dinner the past five nights in a row, because by the time I get home I'm so exhausted, I don't even want to cook anything. So I, and maybe I'll make a smoothie today, I treated myself to a smoothie. But that's just kind of the nature of our lives.
Bruce:I agree with that and I think going back to the meal planning real quick or meal prep, it used to, and this is somewhere where her and I have grown together. It used to be a point of contention in grocery shopping used to suck. Like, just to be honest, like it was like, oh, what are we gonna do? a) because money's type, but B) because she is the planner, the type, she calls me type A, which I understand that I'm like a b plus. She's the A plus I'm a B plus. It's going to be the title of a book later down the line. But anyways, with her, it's one of those things where she wanted to do it cuz she needed to do it and she's gotten awesome over the years of just going with it. But at the same time, I've stepped up to the plate and gone and done the grocery shopping and then kind of prepped for the meals in my head because God has giving me a seven lane highway, if not 10 lane highway in my head where I can sit there and just plant it and piece it together based on what we have trying to make the finance.
Kaila:All right. Last question. How do we manage our schedule with all the kids doing different things? How do you manage your schedule?
Bruce:Well actually let's you start first with this, with how our schedule and our phone works. Go ahead, give like, like two or three tidbits or pointers of what our schedule looks like in our phones.
Kaila:Okay. So. I am gonna plug real quick, I'm doing a whole workshop on this, but I'm gonna give you a couple freebies just as we go over this. So I'm gonna do a whole time management workshop on how do you manage your time. But I will say, hands down, the key for me is Google Calendars. So Google Calendars, is what helps me keep our lives organized. Some of the reasons I love Google Calendars is because you can actually create shared calendars. So if you have teenagers like we do that have access to their own email, I can share those calendars with them, and then when they add things to their calendar, it automatically gets added to my calendar. So there's no more, oh, you didn't tell me you had a meeting after school. I can already see that they have that meeting after school. And so it helps with the communication and then also in terms of sporting events on the calendar. I use emojis a lot when I'm putting things into the calendar because something as simple as there are a whole array of colored dots, and so I will use the colored dots at the front of the game. Just to simply let me know what color my son or daughter is gonna be wearing for that game. So, okay, they're home, they're wearing red, so I'll put the red dot and then I'll put their game info. So using emojis also really helps me kind of clean up or at least organize my calendar. So even though there's a lot on it, it doesn't look as overwhelming. It gives me a lot of information and a quick glance.
Bruce:Yeah. I think it's extremely important for our family that that's in there like that. And not only for us, because our kids, even our seven year old son's able to sit there and go in and unlock our phone if we give him the password and he can know exactly what he needs to wear. So we, we don't have to sit there and go back to the email and say, what do you look, he's able to look for himself. He's able to sit there and do it for himself, which is super important because you're trying to teach these kids how to do things in life anyway. The other thing that we do that, that's been helpful our kids who are a little bit older, one in high school, one elementary school, they are able to put their own practices in the calendar for us. And so maybe we're on our way to school. We just got the email come through that said, Hey, practices are Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, this week. They're able to sit there and go in and put the calendar in for their practices so that we don't have to. In terms of sitting here and, and going through our schedule for the week, we actually don't sit there and talk about it a ton every single day. We can sit there on the weekend and we get the email. Here's another fun fact too. Some people are able to get their whole entire child's schedule for the whole entire year, or for the whole entire fall or spring or for the month in advance. Oftentimes, we don't know where our kids are playing until the weekend before or the Tuesday before that, Saturday or Sunday coming up. And so we have to adjust and we wanted to, you know, adjust on the fly. But we do, we divide and conquer. Today, we had four soccer games to go to. Plus Ms. Christine Kane was at our church speaking, and so my wife wanted to go there and hang out with a friend or two. And so we did, we divided Conquer, we do it frequently and it is based on kids' locations and where they're at. I mean, we try to get to as many games as we can today. There's four games. I got to three outta four. Today, there was four games and she got to three outta four, which is an awesome thing. It doesn't always work out that way. And then the other thing is just sitting there, seeing where the schedules are at. I mean, this goes back to the personal time, just a little bit like our own time. You know, it is important that as christians that we are surrounded by other like-minded individuals. Like I said, and we've said it a million times, those are people who are part of our village. Those are people that we rely on to live on life. And I think probably even more importantly, those are people who sharpen us. And so in order to make sure that we are around these people, we sacrifice. I mean, our, our schedule is full of sacrifice. There are days where Monday nights, for instance, I'll give you an example. We have two kids who practice in central Austin from seven to eight 30. I start men's group at nine o'clock. It's a virtual men's group on purpose so that I can be home, but my wife takes kids to practice so that I can sit there and get on men's group without much interference other than our bad wifi. And then on Wednesday nights it's vice versa, I run around to two or three different practices so she's able to go to a women's group at church. And so there's a lot of sacrifice involved with us as parents and I think All parents who love their kids, you're willing to make that sacrifice so that they can do things that they enjoy doing and ultimately if they're enjoying what they're doing, it brings a smile to our face. And so I think it's important your schedule has to be done in advance, but it's not something that we sit there and spend a ton of time on every single day.
Kaila:I would say that just even in answering these questions, there's kind of this theme of how you just give and take and roll with the I would say roll with the punches, but it's not always, sometimes it's not always a punch. Sometimes it's just the waves of life, things are gonna happen and you have to be flexible and you have to be able to, like you were saying, give and take and know what's important to focus on. And then, What's just not really that big of a deal and what's not worth, and so that's why I actually picked out this verse in advance, but it has applied as we've been talking and just seeing this theme in Matthew chapter six, Jesus is saying,"don't worry about these things saying what will we eat? What will we drink, what will we wear?"And I'm just gonna insert my own little commentary. It's like the meal plan. You don't have to worry about the meal plan, you don't have to worry about all the things. You don't have to worry about making sure your kids are perfectly dressed or that the house is clean. There's so many things that we could worry about, but then it goes on to say"these things dominate the thoughts of unbeliever. Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, so seek the kingdom of God above all else, live righteously, and he'll give you everything you need" that's it. Bruce has said we've had to give and take along the years, and we have grown a lot and just really seeing what is it that needs our most attention? And then just letting God take care of the rest and knowing that there's a difference between the things that you want and the things that you need. And God always provides what you need. And then this verse finishes off."So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries and today's troubles is enough for today." So that's another thing I know often people say, how do you do it? I say, A) a whole lot of Jesus. And then one day at a time, just focus on today and living in the moment today and getting what you need to done.
Bruce:Yeah, I think that's a great way of putting it. I mean, just this last week, I saw probably one of my favorite, I dunno if it was a bumper sticker or a meme or whatever you wanna call it, but it was, it's not my job to get my kid into Harvard, it's my job to get my kid into heaven. And I was like, pretty much okay. And that just summed it up for me, right? At the end of the day, there's so many things that we want for our kids, and it's not bad to want Harvard, but at the end of the day, if we're sitting there modeling Jesus and all that we do, and if we're going about life as Jesus would, we're gonna make a difference in our kids' life, and ultimately it's gonna lead them to heaven.
Kaila:All right, well, let's pray it out because I think they're gonna start tuning us out soon. So, dear Father God, thank you for this opportunity to just come and be open and honest and real with people. We enjoy talking about our families, but only God if you're gonna use it to glorify your name. We always want to point the glory back to you because you are our strength. You are a shield. You are our hope. You love us so much. We just want to see how you're going to use us to reach others. So Father God, I pray for every person listening to this podcast that you would come into their lives, that you would step into their space, that they would feel your presence, and that they would know that you provide everything that they need, and that you are our foundation and our faith. In all that we do and all that we say. We love you, Lord. Amen.